“show me a good loser and I will show you a loser”

The title of today’s blog is borrowed from something said by one of my favourite NFL players after he lost an important game:

“I hate to lose.  Show me a good loser and I will show you a loser.”  Cam Newton

I need to preface today’s blog by saying that I understand not everyone wants to be the best at what they do; and or win … most people are just happy with having a nice life, job and having fun and there is nothing wrong with that — so I know my discussion today is probably not going to be something everyone can take something from, but I like this discussion, and think some readers will be able to get something out of reading this …. Especially myself.
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Recently, it seems (in my opinion) that the word “loser” is being over used.

In today’s blog, the “loser” I am referring to is simply someone who comes in 2^nd or third … and does not achieve victory.

It does not mean the person is a bad person, just someone who did not win.

The same “loser” that Cam Newton referred to in his infamous press conference after he lost the super bowl.

Yes, I know that often I use the term “loser” to describe someone who is a thieving, dishonest, disloyal fraud of a person … but for today’s discussion, I am not referring to that type of loser.

Like most people around the world, for the past few days, I have been mesmerised by the brilliance of Michael Phelps and Katie Ledecky.

And a few days ago, as I was waiting to watch one of Phelps races, the French TV (I am at my home in France for summer break so watching French TV) was showing other French athletes competing in various Olympic sports … and one of the sports being shown (the sport was not swimming) and the French athlete the TV was showing is the “world champion” in his sport.  (I don’t want to mention the sport or the athlete because he is not the point of the blog)

Since he was competing in a sport I am not interested in watching, I got up to get some water … and when I came back to the TV, I saw the athlete who is the world champion in his sport … someone the TV had referred to as the “world champion” many times throughout the program …  his competition was finished and he was jumping up and down all excited celebrating.

The TV showed him run up to the stands celebrating to hug his wife and screaming with happiness.

Just looking at the TV, I assumed the guy broke a world record or at the very least, won a gold medal, but listening to the commentary, I discovered that this world champion won the bronze medal.

The world champion in the sport who was expected to win the gold in Rio … he got 3^rd place and was obviously, very excited and proud of his achievement.

Yes, getting 3^rd place in the Olympics is exceptional … but, the man is the world champion in his sport so I would expect he was aiming for the Gold.
Since he was so “satisfied” with getting 3rd …. i strongly question his true desire to win.

When I look back over my life, esp. when I look back at my mediocre high school and college swimming career … I see so clearly that I was a loser.

I especially, remember a few races where I lost to future Olympians … I was happy when I achieved 2^nd or 3^rd place.
… maybe not “happy” but “satisfied” is a better word.

I look back over my life, over the many things that I have done and some of the cool achievements and a couple victories have been nice, but too many times — too often I have been “satisfied” with just being “good” even if my goal is to be the best at whatever I do.

Surely, many people reading this can relate.

All the times I have been a loser … I might have acted like I wanted to be a winner, and probably trained or worked harder than most … but at the end of the day, I did not want success as much as the winner did.  I am not referring just to sports … but also in everything that I have done/do.

Many books are written about what separates the winner from the loser … and the content of these books are probably much the same for each: “the winner works harder than most; the winner is focused; the winner wants success more than the others; the winner is committed to his/her goal and does not let anything get in the way … etc.”

Its easy to read these books or blogs and get excited … and go after winning instead of losing – but, we still have to make it happen.  Consistently.
Its much easier to just accept almost reaching the summit or almost being the best at what we do than it is being the winner.

I am not just applying this “winner/loser” discussion to a race or hobby/sport … but also to our careers/jobs.

Example – do you do your job the best you can?
Do you do it with all your heart and focus on being the best at what you do?
This question is asked assuming that you want to be the best, and or grow in whatever you are doing and win.

Example … Larry Ellison is a winner.  Whether one likes him or not, the man wins far and away more times than he ever loses.
And I have read his drive to be the best is because he “hates” losers and losing.

(remember my use of the word loser today is only describing someone who does not win — it is not used negatively, and of course many “losers” are great people — they are just not the winner)

… If you are a manager or leader in whatever it is that you do … are you leading your company or team to the best of your abilities?

Are you hating and despising to lose so much that when you do not achieve your targets and or do not have the best, do you get upset and reflect on what you can do differently to improve? Or are you just happy with being 2^nd or 3^rd place?

Of course, not everyone wants to win … and many are satisfied with getting a bronze medal – and in reference to our goals, sports and or jobs … not everyone wants to be the best.  I perfectly understand this …

But, if you aspire to be the best at what you do … its worth reflecting on whether you too easily accept 2nd, 3rd or 4th place not just in sports but even in your professional life.

If you have been complacent and satisfied with getting a bronze medal, but deep inside you want to be a winner — then from today going forward make sure you do everything you can to not get a bronze medal again.

Reality is that no matter how hard you work or how much you want to achieve victory, like Cam or Phelps or Nadal wanted to win it all, but came up short..
I reiterate (again) – although the above are sports heroes, I am not referring to just sports.

There will be times you will give whatever it is that you are doing everything you got…but, you will come up 2nd or 3rd — at least you will have done everything you possibly could do to win, and you will (probably) be more unhappy not winning than ever before, but use the unhappiness you feel to help drive you to be even more prepared and ready for the next time.

No matter what … never just accept winning a bronze medal if you aspire to be the winner.